The Proposal

The Declaration


Did it, finally i did,
in my lonesome heart,
for long, which i had hid.

The two consequences i face,
the constant pain in my heart,
is what that keeps me out of a daze.

i hope for the best as i always can,
but the comedy called my life, as ever,
will inflict it's wounds like a wronged man.

i wait for the reply which i know will be no,
yet a small fickle of hope beckons from somewhere,
saying, "See my lad, don't worry! be happy! I told you so"

*******--------*******

The Anticipation


The hardest part is not the words,
nor are the butterflies in the stomach even close,
the hardest part is the wait,
will you be happy, or will life make you morose.

A watched pot never boils, they say,
but they never tell you what to do,
you stay awake for days on end,
waiting for the dark sky to turn, once again blue.

It's painful to be at a loss,
not knowing what turn life will take,
you can only hope for the best,
for you, for her and for everyone's sake...

******--------******

The Rejection


Your fate always comes around and bites you,
your stench, well that always smites you,
everything you stand for, but let fall,
will haunt you for your days all.

I promised myself i'll never be sad,
never go for things i never could have had,
but all i am left with, for all those spent miles,
are just a bunch of unknown fake smiles.

The stupidity of my life, the everlasting smile,
i am glad it makes spending time with me worthwhile,
but when you spend time smiling for so long,
No-one understands when your life goes all wrong.

i hope, no, i better know, what i must do hereon,
i pray that i find that one, long lost song,
its gone, its over, its finished for the last time,
Lord! i believe now i am all yours, and you all mine.

love

love me tenderly,
love me true.
love me as i,
i never knew..

love me happily,
love me whole.
love my spirit,
love my soul..

Lost soul.. my original Hindi draft n English translation...

Yaaron main chalaa

Jab main na rahun,
Na rahein meri yaadein,
Tamanna hai bas itni,
Meri maut kisi ke bhi aansu na barsaa de.
Agar mere baad kuchh reh jaaye,
Bas aasha hai yehi,
Antim ghadi mein mile na mile,
Mere dost meri nibhaayi hui dosti na bhula de.
Zindagi ne hai sau dukh diye,
Gamo k is bandhan ne ek raah dikhaai,
In baadalo ka sahra baandh hu nikal para,
Aansuo ki ye barsaat kahin mujhe na mita de.
Hoon yahaan par bas itne hi pal,
Jab tak jannat par na pad jaye kadam,
Kitni hi saanse reh gayi hai zahan mein,
Jite ji to nahi marne k baad sab na bhula de.
Jo vaada kar raha hoon,
Usey hamesha hi nibhaata rahunga,
Mar jaane se main bhale dagmagaa jaau,
Jo maut hai mann mein,
vo hasratein hi na mitaa de.
Kaafila hai nikal paraa,
Mere janaaze mein shamil hain mere dost,
Unke aankho se jhalakte us pyaar ka sailaab,
Kahin vo meri rooh hi ko na rula de.
Hai yeh meri antim ghadi,
Kavita nahi dil likh rahaa hoon,
Zindagi ka yeh ojhal ho raha ujaala,
Kahin mujhe alvida kehne se pehle hi na sula de..



Translation:

Bon adieu

When i shall have been gone,
nor shall remain my memories,
i leave this world capturing the only desire,
Let no one cry beside my funeral pyre.

If i leave anything behind me,
there's only one thing i aspire,
they meet or don't as i breathe my last,
my friends don't forget our friendship's forlorn cast.

My life has rewarded me sufferings untold,
in this pain a lit path beholds,
i walk beyond a crown of clouds over my head,
may not this storm of tears wipe me off instead.

I remain here for only those few moments,
until i step on the doors of heaven,
i know not how many breaths in me i have left,
though lost when alive, am not forgotten in death.

I stand here making a promise carved on stone,
a burden i shall hold in my heart always,
however unsteady i become as i cross over to the other side,
the death i seek will not destroy all what in my heart resides.

Out there on the street goes my funeral walk,
a sea of faces as my friends follow on,
the waves of love dropping from their eyes,
i hope is not for what my spirit cries.

Here i stand in my last moment,
i say i wrote my heart, not a mere poem,
i pray that this dimming light of my life,
doesn't make me sleep befor i get to say goodbye...

DYING SINCE AN ETERNITY

Somewhere along the path of my breath,
i lost my precious life.
Even though i sleep, breathe and eat,
i am not sure if i am alive.

I may have held the wrong course too long,
i may have mistook my turn.
Though i did do all i had ever wanted,
yet for the prick of the pain i yearn.

Fate and folly go hand in hand,
the beauty of death will unfold.
The tangibility of joy wrapped on one,
like a warm blanket, i am told.

The aura, the splendour of the kings of heaven,
that dead men in their coffins feel.
I beseech all, will they,
they, the wounds of life ever heal.

Sometimes i wonder, will i ever,
ever try to get my life as whole.
I am sure, that when that happens,
all i got to do is surrender my soul.

Dreams

My silence speaks a thousand words,
words that i may never speak.
My heart bleeds a million deaths,
may never heal, the wounds so deep.

The fresh fragrance does enchants,
the soul to live, not die.
But what lays ahead of me,
knowing that, i can only cry.

Weaving a branch i may never climb,
dreaming a life i may never know.
Hoping to feel that bit of emotion,
that never had any come and go.

Then of the thousand days that go,
thousand days that go so slow.
The vision of loveliness not made,
for me, never, no.

The tears in my eyes swell up,
tears, which come be happy or be sad.
Tears, which rain on burning sands of life,
sand which sting really really bad.